cloudlust
by coolwritingmonster
Summary: Percy pretends, and Annabeth flees, but they both long for the clouds. :percabethAU::angsty drabble:


_**cloudlust**_

_Percy pretends, and Annabeth flees, but they both long for the clouds. _

:

Percy, at the age of nine, looks at the world with stars in his eyes, through rose-tinted glasses of childlike wonder. He spends his days amongst the clouds, sits on his parents' shoulders, who walk the ground below to place their little boy in the sky. They pluck him the stars he wants, sends him over the moon at his very whims and fancies.

It all comes crashing down at twelve.

Percy's pulled out of the clouds, the weight of _his_ world too much for his mother to handle alone. He sits on the ground, _feels_ it for the first time in his twelve year old existence. He watches as Sally takes on three jobs a day, sleeps at 3 am and wakes at 5 am for the next shift. Sally tries, _oh_, she tries. She buys toys, brings him to restaurants any time she's not working, attempts to hoist him back into the clouds on her thin, haggard shoulders.

His tiny brain struggles to comprehend at first, his sudden fall from grace, the sudden loss of a parent; Sally acts as though everything is fine, and he plays along. The days wear on, and Percy watches Sally getting thinner and thinner, the eyebags below her tired eyes becoming that much more prominent as she attempts to smile and adjusts his weight fully resting on her aching shoulders.

Percy knows better now.

He goes out to find part-time jobs and after much pleading, owners of a café they visit often agree to hire him as the help. He works there every day after school, takes on a few other jobs here and there, and spends the rest of his time studying. He brings back As for Sally every finals, and the smile on her face makes his entire world.

Percy's jaded, hardened beyond belief, a string of jobs behind him, the little boy frolicking amongst the clouds replaced by a man with steel in his eyes. The stars disappear, all he sees is the unfairness blanketing this world, and the pain and sorrows that cloud his mother's eyes.

His world's made up of Sally now, and the clouds are but a distant memory. He's keeping his feet firmly planted on the ground.

:

Annabeth's raised to be a princess.

She dances and prances, twirls around in a flurry of tulle and blonde, up high above in the clouds. Annabeth at nine, full of manners and poise, commandeers her world, the ship traversing the sky made up of the servants at Chase Manor. The clouds, white, thick and fluffy, blinds her, masks her eyes, for it never occurs to little Annabeth the striking disappearance of her parents who had once told her the sky's hers for the taking. All she sees is white and the warm gold of the setting sun.

She finally sees grey for the first time on her twelve birthday, and it isn't pretty.

She sits for hours in her bedroom, decorated with presents and cake, friends and servants alike coming by to wish her a happy birthday. She smiles at every greeting, hugs every friend, but her heart gets heavier and heavier. She waits in the dark, presents unopened, cake untouched, stubbornly, till the clock strikes a weary twelve.

Her parents never did appear. Not then, not now, not _ever_.

Annabeth feels the mask over her eyes slip away, and the clouds don't seem that beautiful anymore, she sees everything for what it is, disappointment and tears hidden away in their deepest depths. She's sick of it.

So she lets herself fall out of the clouds.

_It's better this way_, she tells herself, her life's no longer a lie. It haunts her, the loneliness and acute brokenness she feels, but she ignores it, because she knows no one can hurt her any more than she already is. _Except herself_, a voice whispers, but all Annabeth does in response is to smile.

At fourteen, a friend introduces her to alcohol. She quickly takes a liking to it, her room filled with cartons of beer, her weekends spent at parties. She's drunk most nights, and she loves it. She can't think straight, she doesn't face the hollowness of the empty house, and she feels like she's soaring through the clouds again. It's temporary, but that's just fine with Annabeth. She doesn't have to deal with the crushing disappointment that used to characterize her time in the clouds that way.

The blonde girl sits on the ground of her own will, the clouds not far from reach with the can of alcohol beside her. She smiles brokenly, and takes another sip of false euphoria.

:

The boy who's forcefully pulled out of the clouds, and the girl who lets herself fall, meet for the first time.

It isn't by any means memorable, but when Annabeth's hand accidentally grazes Percy's as they pass by each other in the hallways and they lock eyes, it feels – just for a moment, that they're both back in the clouds of their childhood. Percy's too jaded to think much of it, dismissing it as a sudden loss of resolve, and heads off to his next class, but not before casting a look back at the beautiful blonde girl with hollowed grey eyes.

Annabeth doesn't move from her spot, staring at the disappearing back of the boy. She thinks back to his eyes, green and blue and everything in between, steel and pain intermingling, much like her own, and wonders if the boy too fell from the clouds. She shakes the thought off, a small smile on her lips. A boy like him_ can't_ be broken.

Percy watches her sit at a table in the courtyard and bite on her sandwich, his eyes straying from his calculus worksheet to the blonde girl firmly occupying his mind. He finally pushes aside his homework, finding himself awfully distracted and making mistakes he normally wouldn't. He contemplates for a moment and packs his bag, striding over to the table where the blonde girl sits.

He puts his bag down and takes out his homework without a word. Percy sees her jerk a little in surprise, and glances at him briefly, before returning to her sandwich. He hides a smile and continues to work on calculus, the silence encasing them comfortable and serene. He keeps on sneaking glances at the girl next to him, unable to resist the allure of her golden hair, tracing the slope of her nose, curve of her lips with his eyes.

The ring of the lunch bell comes abruptly, snapping him out of his girl induced daze. Not wanting to be late for lessons, Percy scrambles to pack up his bag and a slender hand picks up a forlorn eraser for him. They lock eyes for the second time, and he swears her grey eyes got brighter. He feels a little jolt in his chest, and he momentarily feels like he's swimming amongst the clouds he fell from.

It feels nice.

Percy still doesn't know her name, but he thinks they could be friends. _Or even more_, his heart whispers.

:

They finally talk a week later after the boy with the green eyes comes uninvited into her life.

It's as inconspicuous as their first meeting, and it happens just before the lunch bell rings. They settle in their normal routine, Annabeth eating and him doing some work or another, both of them sneaking glances at each other. She's wearing her shades today, the after effect of downing too many beers, but for all it's worth, it just makes it easier for her to stare at the boy with the beautiful eyes.

She can't help herself.

There's something terribly striking about him. She observes him during shared classes, unknowingly picks him out in the crowded walkways, eyes continually searching for that ruffled mop of black and piercing green eyes. She's _drawn_ to him, the exact replica of the typical nerd, the exact opposite of the alcohol drinking rebel she is. She thinks she knows why, trailing her eyes down his strong set jaw and the curve of his Adam's apple.

He reminds Annabeth of herself. The hard glint in the emerald orbs, the tightness of his jaw, the unconscious clench of his fists. It's exactly what Annabeth sees when she looks into the mirror every day, and they're so eerily alike it's unnerving. She feels the urge to _know_ him, the green-eyed boy who would probably understand her more than anyone else in the world.

And because Annabeth is a still little inebriated, she acts on it.

"Annabeth."

It comes out strong and steady, and there's no mistaking the intent. He turns to her, look of surprise written all over his face, but all she can focus on is the little half-smile that tugs his lips upwards. It makes her feel all fluttery inside, and she suddenly becomes that little blonde girl dancing on top of the clouds.

His name is Percy, as Annabeth finds out, and he has a dimple at the side of his cheek. Ice broken, conversations flow easy as they talk about Mr. Meyer's math class and how their insane PE teacher managed to blow up a locker room before the lunch bell rings. They talk every night since that fateful lunch, Annabeth cradling her phone for once instead of a beer bottle.

Annabeth hasn't been drunk for about a week now, and she falls asleep with a smile on her lips, dreaming about the clouds and the boy with eyes of green and blue and everything in between.

:

It's disconcerting because it had been _PercySally_ for so long, he didn't know what to do with Annabeth's sudden entrance into his life. Not that he didn't like it, but Annabeth slides right into his life as though she belongs and it quickly becomes_ PercyAnnabethSally. _It scares him a little.

But when he catches Sally's eye one day as Annabeth's over, he sees nothing but warmth and twinkles. His smile grows as he watches the two most important people in his life interact, and he makes a decision. He doesn't hesitate as he gets down on his knees the next day at lunch, and asks Annabeth if she'd be his girlfriend.

She says yes with a giggle, and presses her lips to his.

The broken girl begins to heal, and the steel in the boy's eyes gets corroded away day by day. For a few magical months, the girl raised to be a princess, and the boy with stars in his eyes make a triumph return, dancing amongst the clouds as their playground.

But because perfection never lasts, they fall steeply from the clouds, grounded by the reality that they must both face.

:

For a moment, everything's truly perfect in Annabeth's world.

She feels like the little dancing princess again, and she throws away every last bottle of alcohol she finds. She's finally cleaning her life up, and there's only room for Percy and Sally in it. She vacates her room the very next day, moving to Percy's threadbare apartment. It's smaller than what she's used to, but it's more than what she ever wanted.

She lies in bed with Percy's arms wrapped around her one warm night, finding it hard to fall asleep. She runs her fingers up and down his bicep, and attempts to fall asleep to Percy's light snoring. Sleep eludes her, but something strikes her suddenly.

_Could it be that the clouds are blinding her again? That this is nothing but an impossible dream, and she's setting herself up for possibly the greatest disappointment of her life? _

She doesn't want Percy to face the same pain she did. She can't do this to him.

She trails her fingers over his face, memorizes every curve, every nook and cranny of his body. Annabeth plants a light kiss over his lips and tells herself, _one last night_. She holds back the tears and fits herself into the groove of his body, inhaling his scent and waits for daybreak.

As the sky breaks out into a multitude of yellows and oranges, _I'm sorry_, she whispers, a lone tear sliding down her cheek. Annabeth closes the door behind her, and locks herself out of Percy's life and the clouds that have given her hope again and again.

The blonde girl chooses to break herself again, pulling them both down from the clouds of bliss. And as if that isn't enough, she thrusts herself deep into a crevice that the sky doesn't reach, that she doesn't – _can't_, see the clouds that she yearns for.

:

Percy feels the emptiness before he sees it.

He doesn't chase her back, because he _knows_ her, and Annabeth Chase is deathly afraid of being emotionally attached. It's natural for her to run, and Percy doesn't fault her for it. If anything, he feels regret for what they _could_ have. It doesn't spare him from the pain though.

He hurts when he sees Sally sitting alone at the breakfast table, he hurts when he doesn't see a purple toothbrush next to his, and he hurts when he sits alone at lunch for the first time in 6 months. Now that Annabeth's gone from his life, it's no longer _PercyAnnabethSally_ again, and it freaking hurts. He throws himself in work and study, doing them both with a vigor he doesn't know he had. He knows Sally's concerned, and he knows the smiles he shoots to assure her isn't convincing anyone.

He can't even convince himself.

He walks across the stage in his blue graduation robe to deliver the valedictorian speech 2 months after Annabeth disappears from his life. He lets his gaze sweep across the crowd as he speaks at the podium, catching Sally's gaze and unknowingly looking for flashes of blonde hair the color of the setting sun.

He doesn't see any.

So he pretends, because that's what Percy does best. He pretends he doesn't see the worried gazes of his mother, he pretends he's happy when he's on a date with a girl who doesn't have grey eyes nor blonde hair, he pretends that he doesn't miss Annabeth.

(But he does, so _so_ much.)

The boy with eyes the colour of the ocean watches as the love of his life steals away the stars in his eyes, and he decides not to pick up any more rose-tinted glasses along the way.

:

_Percy pretends, and Annabeth flees. They both long for the clouds but they know they'll never reach it. _

_**fin**_

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><p><strong>AN: ok wow so it turned out way more angsty than I intended. Also I'm thinking of entering this one into a competition, so please drop me a review after you're done reading to tell me what you thought of this so I can edit and stuff like that before I enter. Looking forward to all your reviews! :D**


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